If I were to prepare a report for the week ending on September 18th, it would go something like this:
- Monday. Enough said.
- And, I had to do math. Lots of it.
- Got in trouble with the librarian.
- Received an urgent phone call from a friend. Ended up at his house until 1am because:
-His bipolar boyfriend had an episode and left the house in a crazy fit. Having taken away his car keys, he stopped a car on the street and told the female driver and passenger that someone was trying to kidnap him. The ladies believed him.
-My friend’s mother and two sisters showed up for a toxic-gay-relationship-intervention.
-We looked at fun cover-ups for the tattoo of the guy’s name on my friends back.
- The dog woke up with a stomach ache, had to pick up diarrhea with a poopie bag.
- Realized I had gone the whole day with a rogue hair growing out of the side of my face.
- Late for work.
- Packed the wrong sports bra for first softball game of the season.
- Realized that I suck at softball for the following reasons:
- Not catching any of the fly balls headed my way. And, stopping one of the fly balls with my bare hand.
- At my first at bat, I hit the ball, but forgot to run.
- At my second at bat, I caused the last out of the game.
- Discovered a huge work-related problem at 5:00pm.
- Arrived late to hair appointment, closed out the shop.
- Drove to the beach to have dinner and yogurt at 11pm.
- Worked out surrounded by Ohio State University fans.
- Did not find the location of the carwash I bought four Groupons from.
- After four hours of driving around town, came home with nothing crossed-off my errand list.
- Watched a super-gory Japanese horror movie, followed by a “Beyond Scared Straight” marathon on A&E.
- Woke up with horrible kink in my neck, applied enough Ben-gay to make eyes water.
- Skipped the gym, skipped the batting cages, skipped the laundry.
- Waiter yelled, “Panda!” at me. I took it as an insult, as I forgot I had on a WWF shirt.
- Blog about the worst week ever.