Yesterday I went to lunch with the most interesting man in the world…smelling like Bengay. No. It gets worse. He noticed I smelled like Bengay. Do you know what’s even worse than that? It wasn’t even Bengay. It was Icy Hot because I was in that much pain.
What kind of pain? Oh, but the worse kind. I’m in vain pain.
I, trying to show-off in front of my personal-trainer-by-day-by-but-by-night-women’s-professional-body-builder in effect pulled a muscle located between my neck and my back. Or I have large alien cocooning in that area.
At the time of the incident I was excercising my arms with dumbbells. Dumbbells that weigh approximately five pounds. Each! After the incident, she went away and came back with two half pound dumb bells and called the Barbie weights. By the way, when we finished, she was nice enough to carry them back to wherever she found them…in her pocket.
Last week, during our first session, I collapsed. Maybe I should have segued better into that story. Okay, one more time. As if that wasn’t enough to bruise my ego for at least a few months, last week, during our first session, I collapsed. On the floor. She was nice enough to carry me into the locker room while I was foaming at the mouth…in her pocket.