The War on Rude

Recently a friend posted on her Facebook page:

“When did common courtesy and manners-the basics of good home training become the exception and not the rule!?!?!? How hard is it to say ‘good morning’, ‘please’, ‘thank you’, ‘you’re welcome’ and ‘excuse me’?”

I agreed, quietly, and moved on to playing trivial games and stalking – the normal activities one does on Facebook. As the week progressed, though, I experienced a lot of “rude.” Like a lot. Like way more than usual. And I kept thinking back to Dana’s post. I thought that I was in an alternate version of The Ring, where by just reading a post about rudeness, I was now cursed as the recipient of poo-poo-pa-looz-a.

Don’t worry, much like the movie, I didn’t buy this theory either.

I gave it some more thought, some serious brain pumpage, and I found the root of rude. You see, rude has always been rude, but it wasn’t until one stupid line recited by one incredibly adorable child actor, broadcasted on a weekly, nationally syndicated family situation-comedy called, Full House that rude started to equal cute.

“How rude!” Remember? It was Stephanie Tanner’s catch phrase. Played by Jodie Sweetin, she was the starved-for-attention-middle-child. She would say her line, “How rude,” and pucker her mouth. The live audience would laugh and laugh. Little could we foresee that the home viewing audience would internalize this and act out to garner the attention of the Stephanie Tanners that live inside of us in the hopes to get laughs.

The first step to eliminate the complacency and world acceptance of rudeness is to ban Full House from everywhere. Wait. Maybe that’s too drastic. Instead, let’s ban all of the episodes that have what’s-her-face blabbering the line that glorifies rudeness. That means any and all YouTube “How rude!” mega-mixes and voice overs in foreign languages.

Amazing how one small, harmless child actor can cause multitudes of human beings to disregard the feelings, sensitivities and simple presence of other humans, animals and the planet.

Seriously now. Unless you are French, you have no business being rude. And that’s not being rude, that’s just the truth. Oh, and in now way am I saying that we should invade France for their rudeness. No. That’s them. That’s their culture. It’s not ours. We are the people who offered blankets to the Native American Indians to keep them warm. Okay, maybe those blankets came with Small Pox, but it’s the thought, no?

Okay. Seriously for real now. I have no qualms against the French, the Americans, child actors, Native Americans, Small Pox, my friend Dana, Facebook or any other thing, person, nationality mentioned above. What I do have a problem with is people (1)that lack a common courtesy gene; (2)that hide behind a company name or policy to be rude to current, past and future employees; (3)that use and dispose people like styrofoam cups. And, in all seriousness, I think I have found the solution to solve these domestic acts of naughty. Give the offender what they want. Deliver the line to their face,  in the same screechey, annoying, mouth-pucker of Stephanie Tanner:

“How rude!”