Nasallusion

Things are always what they seem. Always. Unless you can’t smell very well.

But, under normal circumstances, it is all right there in front of your nose.

We try to psyche ourselves out with cliches like, “Don’t judge a book by its cover,” and convince ourselves of social norms like, “Girls don’t fart,” but you know and I know that there’s a particular smell in the line at the post office and we both know it’s coming from you.

Humans in their natural state smell, I know. Sometimes, it is caused by diet or surroundings or culture. But let’s stop kidding around, you clearly insist on farting in close quarters, I can only imagine, so you can try to get to the counter faster.

Well, I’m here to tell you no.

I’m purposely going to ask the post office worker 10 very difficult questions. Making you wait longer. You’ll either crap your pants or learn that repeatedly farting on people is not nice.

Look over my shoulder all you want, fart lady. I will not be deterred. Apparently just like you.