I see him everywhere.
I see him in little boys and older boys and in babies, too. I see him in the places I go and in planes and on ships. I see him everywhere. Even though I haven’t physically seen him in more than two years.
I’d like to think he sees me in crowds at the mall or as an extra on his favorite TV show. But, that’s wishful thinking. I know he doesn’t. I’m sure he doesn’t give my absence a second thought. As well as he shouldn’t. He’s a teen with a whole host of problems. With obscene amounts of homework and extra-curricular activities. He has enough on his plate.
In a few short years, he’ll be an adult. An adult with conviction and opinions and free will. And as such, he will most likely call me out on walking out of his life – that’s if our paths will cross again, which I’m sure the chances are really high on that happening.
But, for right now, it’s best that we stay in our corners.
It’s for the best. I mean, the only things I could offer a fourteen year old are lessons in defying authority, spinning a story and charming the ladies. Seriously. That would be negligent on my part. No teenage boy should be privy to these things. I mean, I’m sure it would be very helpful, but I would probably end up getting a 4 AM phone call from him needing a ride home from a kegger. Something that should never be done before the age of sixteen, in my opinion.
Okay, this is just for Peter, so everyone else look away.
My beautiful boy, I’ve never stopped loving you. I’ve never stopped thinking of you and seeing you. Everywhere. Especially in my heart.
As for your sister. I see her too. Every time I look in the mirror.
Love you both.