Waiting by the phone

Sometimes job searching is like dating — in high school.

You find out someone is having a party and your crush is going. You find out Company A is hiring.

A few months back, I heard from a colleague that Company A was looking for someone to fill a marketing communications position. Senior management was going to be in Miami in the near future and wanted to take advantage of the geographical coincidence to meet some potential candidates.

You want to be invited so badly that you slip a note to the host. You send in your resumé.

So, I dropped my name in the hat and shortly after was scheduled for a phone interview. Across thousands of miles and a few time zones, the interview went very well. It was very formal at first and then it turned friendly, relaxed and promising.

You are finally invited. You are contacted by HR to schedule a meeting.

You go to the mall, get an outfit, get a mani/pedi, do your hair, get the car washed, etc. Same.

I prepared a thirty minute presentation for this meeting. No joke. The truth is I was a bit over qualified for the position, but in my phone conversation with the first gentleman, they said that they were open to an up-sale. And, boy, was I ready to convince Mr. X that hiring a junior person for this job was like only having an appetizer for dinner.

You show up on time and pretend to be cool, but no one is there to see you look cool. Same.

The day of the interview, I walked into those beautiful offices with that famous breathtaking view of Miami looking smart, professional and ready to wow the pants off this guy.

Only, he wasn’t available.

I was told to have a seat and to wait until someone would be able to see me.

While constantly scanning the room for your crush, you make eye contact with one of the friendlier cheerleaders. She comes up to you with her stuck-up boyfriend. You try to guess which of the people walking around will be your potential superior(s), until one of them actually walks into the conference room.

Two executives join me in the conference room. They apologize for Mr. X’s no-show, but assure me that they will give him a full report. Luckily, I had extra copies of my resumé to share with them. I spent a few minutes introducing myself and going over my skill set, when one of the two executives excuses himself from the room.

So, I was left with one, very friendly executive conducting an interview that should have been cancelled. But, I was there and she was there, so I started my presentation.

Realizing that the popular crowd is fake and boring, you decide that you’re going to have fun anyway. During an interview, the moment you realize you really couldn’t work there even if they paid you a million bucks.

Relaxed and indifferent, I decided to insert a lot of my opinion about the company within my presentation. Where they went wrong, where they were missing out on publicity, ideas on how they could become more integrated in the community. Suddenly, she gets up and asks me to hold that thought. I couldn’t believe it. I was siting there in an empty conference room interviewing myself.

You decide to cannonball in the pool and accidentally wet the most popular girl in the school, but everyone thinks it’s funny, so it’s okay. During an interview, the moment you think you’ve said something stupid, but gets a head nod from the interviewer.

She returned with her colleague by the arm and told him to sit down and listen to what I had to say. So, they both sat down and she asked to start my presentation again. And I did. Their heads nodded, their egos burst and then their eyes glimmered with hope. They both agreed that Mr. X needed to be brought in.

Suddenly your crush shows up to the party and even though you are soaked from the pool, he wants to dance with you. During an interview, the moment you think you are going to be hired on the spot.

Indeed, Mr. X was brought in. Not by the arm, but by his own volition. He sat down, said hello and I handed him my resumé. But, before I could backspace my way to the beginning of my presentation, he looked up and said, “It’s obvious that my team wants you, so now it’s just a matter of settling on a number.” What the? Was this his plan all along? Was I on candid camera?

Then, Mr. X said, “Don’t give me the number now, think about it and email me with it tonight. This way it will give me time to look at the budget, so I know where I stand.”

At the end of the best night of your life, your crush asks for your phone number. The interview is over and you nailed it.