You put your right foot in (your mouth)

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We go together like rama lama lama ke ding a de dinga a dong.

I have this terrible habit of saying the absolute wrong thing at the wrong time. I’ve collected the latest doozies for your reading pleasure.

Design Mistake.

ME – “Can you fix that corner there. It look like a Tetris game gone wrong.”

DESIGNER – “That’s part of the design.”

ME – “(Laughing) Really? And what was your inspiration? This mistake happened and now I’m keeping it?”

DESIGNER – “No. Really. I designed it that way.”

Writer’s Blockade.

ME – “If it’s okay with everyone, I’m going to rewrite this copy. It needs some polish.”

SOMEONE IMPORTANT – “I wrote it.”

I Heart Jews.

While chatting with two men of jewish descent…

JEW 1 – “Why did they do that?”

ME – “I thought it was kosher.”

A little while later…

JEW 2 – “You drive a nazi car?”

ME – “Yeah. No, no, I don’t. It’s italian, so it’s a Fascist car.”

JEW 1 – “I’m half italian.”

Friendster.

ME – “For instance, that guy has 4,000 friends on Facebook.”

OTHER GUY – “I am not that guy.”

ME – “Clearly.”

Photo Shot.

ME – “Man, that woman on the poster looks haggard.”

DESIGNER 2 – “I guess I could’ve photoshopped her more.”

Artistic Impression.

ME – “That painting freaks me out.”

SOMEONE SUPER IMPORTANT – “My husband is the artist.”

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