Everybody wants to rule the world

For some time now, I’ve made a habit of carrying around a pocket-sized notebook. Within its pages, I scribble random thoughts in incomplete sentences. Sometimes when I’m eavesdropping on people, I transcribe their conversation. Other times, I simply write about my daily observations in the form of rules to live by and theories to experiment on, such as:

1. Distrust users of the word synergy, and all of its variations.

www.funnyloves.com
http://www.funnyloves.com

2. Wearing credentials at an event tells the world you are important, unless it reads “Visitor.”

visitor-pass

3. Humane Society volunteers are more noble than public school teachers.

www.honestpracticum.com
http://www.honestpracticum.com

4. If you’re juicing, fasting and/or cleansing, make plans to go out to dinner with your friends to feel better about yourself.

www.someecards.com
http://www.someecards.com

5. Basic personal space costs serious amounts of money.

www.huffpost.com
http://www.huffpost.com

6. Billy Joel inspires grown-ups to drink and dance who otherwise don’t. That’s why the tickets are so expensive.

7. Clapping in rhythm is a simple activity most people take for granted.

Reaction GIF: clapping, excited, happy, Joel McHale, Community

8. Brunch is a great way to pay too much for shitty eggs.

www.someecards.com
http://www.someecards.com

9. Hindu iconography will add depth and meaning to your interior decor.

www.etsy.com
http://www.etsy.com

10. The correct response to everything that lady says is, “That’s so interesting.”

www.quickmeme.com
http://www.quickmeme.com

2 thoughts on “Everybody wants to rule the world

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