Let’s talk about six

Today marks the sixth year of my blog. It also marks the one year anniversary of the post where I swore to never move again, and look where that got me. As is tradition on this auspicious day,I’m recapping the last year in the life of this blog in the hopes of finally learning my lesson to stop making veiled threats to the universe, as it has a much darker sense of humor than me.

I also learned that pairing music to alcohol should be left to professional DJs and Pitbull. But, undoubtedly, the greatest lesson I learned in the last year of blogging is that love is greater than marriage, but marriage is pretty fucking great.

Just before this anniversary, I arrived newly wedded to a brand new city, where I can’t pronounce anything right. And now that I’m finally getting my bearings, I can’t wait for another year of gargantuan mistakes.bedazz

Happy anniversary Relativity!

Week 4 of the #WorldCup: The Final Countdown

On the fourth week of the 2014 FIFA World Cup, we had broken backs, we had broken hearts and were broke from all of the money we lost in the office pool.

Here are the only five things you need to know about this past week in Fußball:

1. In six minutes…

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2. Breaking records doesn’t make you popular

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3. Helmets are for the weak

I’m fine…I’m fine…I’m not fine.

 

4. Anuses are meant to be torn

Javier Mascherano, the same player that continued the game with an apparent concussion also suffered a torn anus, making him the Mr. Bean of the World Cup.

 

5. Speaking of torn anuses

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The 2014 FIFA World Cup Final will be played in Vatican City. May the best pope win.