Skinny girl problems

I lose so many hours of the day dreaming of ways to live problem-free – which in itself creates a problem because I can’t get anything done. So, I’ve finally come to the conclusion that I can’t go through life without having near aneurisms each week. It’s just not possible. However, I can find solace in not having certain types of problems. Problems that only the most annoying and ridiculous groups of people consider crippling. And, to these groups, I’ve dedicated a three part series. This is the first.

The problems of skinny girls:

• Forgetting to eat.
• A favorite clothing store no longer carrying double zero.
• Fear of flying away on a windy day.
• Hurting sexual partners with a boney pelvic bone.
• Always being cold.
• Never being able to wear a shirt that reads, “Dangerous Curves Ahead.”
• Unable to walk into Lane Bryant for fear of getting jumped.
• Getting trampled on Black Friday.
• Crowd surfing all the way to the nosebleed section.
• Getting confused for a broom.
• The inability to drink more than two glasses of wine.
• Never able to borrow clothes from friends.
• Always suspected of having an eating disorder.