Skinny girl problems

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I lose so many hours of the day dreaming of ways to live problem-free – which in itself creates a problem because I can’t get anything done. So, I’ve finally come to the conclusion that I can’t go through life without having near aneurisms each week. It’s just not possible. However, I can find solace in not having certain types of problems. Problems that only the most annoying and ridiculous groups of people consider crippling. And, to these groups, I’ve dedicated a three part series. This is the first.

The problems of skinny girls:

  • Forgetting to eat.
  • A favorite clothing store no longer carrying double zero.
  • Fear of flying away on a windy day.
  • Hurting sexual partners with a boney pelvic bone.
  • Always being cold.
  • Never being able to wear a shirt that reads, “Dangerous Curves Ahead.”
  • Unable to walk into Lane Bryant for fear of getting jumped.
  • Getting trampled on Black Friday.
  • Crowd surfing all the way to the nosebleed section.
  • Getting confused for a broom.
  • The inability to drink more than two glasses of wine.
  • Never able to borrow clothes from friends.
  • Always suspected of having an eating disorder.
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