So this is what happened.
I started off writing horoscopes for a lesbian ezine. Everything was fine until the previous editor became consumed by a vagina she was consuming. The remaining lesbians consulted the oracle and chose me as their new content generator. I gladly accepted, as I thoroughly enjoy free drinks and wearing a VIP lanyard at every girl party around the country.
I would greatly appreciate your support in my new adventure: BOUND
3 thoughts on “At large”
hey lets kiss and see how it feels .l Feel like she is using me to fulfill a msising part in her relationship , but keeping her fiance for the comfort of home, money and security!, So l want no more of it, untill we are back to just colleges again.I had not seen her since finishing work on Friday last week ,and it felt so good,No stress of anticipation! , Etc. I hate being cold to her but, if she pursues my attention she says we are friends , but if lm not talking to her and we are friends ,why! does she not ask whats wrong , she clearly does not see me as just a friend, and she is pretending nothing is wrong.the game needs to stop now!. , something tells me it will not thou, I had a the affair with a Russian model! l wanted to experiment and did , and it hurt because l fell hard, and she just used me for sex, we fell in lust and she made my life hell !! when l would not be hers ,, so she cut off her friendship …as she knew i wanted to stay friends. and l rebounded by sleeping with another girl to try and forget her ,Big! mistake , because that was how my fiance found out about my fling ,so then he thought l was a lesbian ! which is not really the case , but l just wanted to act upon all the female flirting l seem to get, to see if l liked it , and l did, but l found after the lust fades l loose interest so for me it’s a case of enjoying the experience while i wanted it .. which i mentioned to this work college , and she told me it’s no big deal! as she had been with girls, but now i think she has it in her head that she can flirt with me also to see if l fall for her, which was great! untill we now realise we need each others attention. I feel angry about this. What is sad is l don’t think we can go back to friends now, once she realises l no longer wish to flirt with her , because l see in her eyes how happy l make her feel when were together?I love my friend , really do she is so sweet ,we click so perfectly as friends but she will not let me into her social life , she commented that l scare her in front of another manager friend who is married to a woman, but then when l say l don’t want any friends at work , she looks over and smiles saying except me right and grins.We were standing in the reception area one night while it was quite , and the tension and flirting had it a real high point, one of those situations were you know something is going to happen if you keep pushing the right buttons. Anyway we were standing beside one another , when she just turned to me and started going on about how shed been hurt in the past plus she has been married which l never knew. After confessing to me how she was afraid to be hurt again etc… she then looked at me and said ! Believe it or not I really like you , and followed with I know you may find it hard to believe.Can you tell me with all the constant hand touching Hip touching ,and winking , plus wanting me to sit in her office with her when she is alone.i.e if l sit in another room with the other female manager she will have no shame in asking me to be with her.She even said to me one day, when again l was trying to ignore her so l could just get over the feelings l was experiencing,Hey you cannot say No ! to me you know you can’t .. it was that blatant my jaw hit the floor, but l proceeded to ignore her.She drops me home sometimes if l decide to take a lift and when we turn to each other to say bye you can feel the hesitation in the kiss on the cheeks , which may l add have gone from cheek touching to lips kissing on the cheeks …thats why l pulled away . , l have left it alone to save her from a mistake or I , but you also must understand how painful this is… when shes around me l just want to take her and make love to her.It’s an emotional thing hard to explain unless you had that feelin ..We seem to think and adjust to one another so easy no words just thoughts.So her flirting is that a sign that maybe she wants me too , but is fighting her feelings, like l say she has been with girls before , she always seems to focus on the martieral side of her relationship with her fiance , money holidays , House etc, and when l try to discuss him so l can included a normality to the friendship she seems dismissive or keeps it very limited in info , or over compensates what she tells me in regards to the up and coming marriage Honey moon next year, which seems to have changed three times already which hurtsl wish to hurt no one including my self.but l can only handle this if l pull away but l think it’s confusing her,as me disliking her ,as yesterday she had a bad day in the office ,l was sitting at a desk and when normally she will be all giggly around me and smiley she tried to be all serious , then laughing with the other girls etc, when she realised l was not joining in to talk with her ,she went quite everyone left the room for one reason or another ,then she walk past my dest threw some keys really hard onto the desk even though she could see l was typing then sat at her desk and burst out crying!! .and l said don’t cry , she replied what have l done now? I felt so bad because l know in most part it must be because she misses the flirting we share, and she cannot figure why l have gone cold on her., so l said to her come here , over she came and we hugged for say 2 mins but it felt like eternity!! we both seemed to want to stay like that for as long as it was possible it felt as thou time stood still , all went silent, but l said don’t cry it will be ok , then we hugged some more, but l did not want colleges to see us so close,as lm paranoid as it is about us around each other and what others see.We went back to our desk , She then seemed really happy. Of course every one started walking in saying whats wrong !Trying to hug her ,but she went lm fine ,while looking at me and smiling,!Its just a case of handling this delicately without making me feel bad or anyone else.Could anyone help me understand what is going on really and is it all in my head…. ?