I make it a habit to holiday during the Holidays.
That’s right.
I don’t shop for gifts, I don’t attend dinners, and I don’t dance with creepy uncles. I don’t have to. I’m away. Giving myself the wonderful Christmas/Hanukkah present of a vacation.
This year is no different. The Librarian has chosen New Orleans as our destination and I gladly obliged. But, something very strange happened during my vacation planning process. I discovered that New Orleans and my mother have very many things in common. Too many things, actually. If New Orleans was a person, they could be long-lost twins. And, if my mother was a city, she’d be…well, she’d be Niu Orrrlions (that’s the way she’d make everyone pronounce it).
So, in many ways, I feel like this vacation will be for naught, as it will be like I never left. Here are all the reasons why:
| MOTHER | NEW ORLEANS | |
| NICKNAME | Nola | Nola |
| RELIGION | Catholic | Catholic |
| WHEN VISITING, BE PREPARED FOR |
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| FRENCH-I-NESS | Spent a Week in Paris | Former French Colony |
| ETHNIC MAKE-UP |
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| TOPOGRAPHY | Flat | Flat |
| DISPOSITION | Loud and unstable. | Loud and unstable. |
| LANGUAGE | In Spanish, deletes the post-vocalic “r” (vamos pa’ ya). | In English, deletes the post-vocalic “r” (ova da rainbow). |
| FAVORITE MEAL | Café Con Leche and Pastelitos | Café Au Lait and Beignets |
| BEADS | Owns them in all sizes, shapes and colors. | Gives them away in all sizes, shapes and colors. |
| ON FACEBOOK | TYPES IN ALL CAPS. | TYPES IN ALL CAPS. |
| WHEN FRUSTRATED | Prays to Saints. | Prays for the Saints. |
| BOURBON | Gets rowdy. | A rowdy street. |
| ECONOMY | Has a lot of money, but you wouldn’t know it by looking at her. | Has a lot of money, but you wouldn’t know it by looking at her. |
| ONLY KNOWN ENGLISH PHRASE | Who Dat? | Who Dat? |
| TRUMPET | Husband’s instrument. | Louis Armstrong’s instrument. |
| HURRICANES | Make her nervous. | Make her nervous. |
Mari de Armas 
Does your momma know you have introduced her to the www? And shared all her secrets? Too funny. Love it 🙂
My mom, like New Orleans, can’t read.
Mari, you are the best. I share the same worries as Suzanne: does your mother know? Or, probably she will enjoy it, being a mujel moderna.
She has no idea. And, I prefer it that way. 🙂
LOVE YOU (ERES UNICA)
NOLA (MAMI)
Mom?!
Hallelujah! I needed this-you’re my savior.