I make it a habit to holiday during the Holidays.
I don’t shop for gifts, I don’t attend dinners, and I don’t dance with creepy uncles. I don’t have to. I’m away. Giving myself the wonderful Christmas/Hanukkah present of a vacation.
This year is no different. The Librarian has chosen New Orleans as our destination and I gladly obliged. But, something very strange happened during my vacation planning process. I discovered that New Orleans and my mother have very many things in common. Too many things, actually. If New Orleans was a person, they could be long-lost twins. And, if my mother was a city, she’d be…well, she’d be Niu Orrrlions (that’s the way she’d make everyone pronounce it).
So, in many ways, I feel like this vacation will be for naught, as it will be like I never left. Here are all the reasons why:
|WHEN VISITING, BE PREPARED FOR||
|FRENCH-I-NESS||Spent a Week in Paris||Former French Colony|
|DISPOSITION||Loud and unstable.||Loud and unstable.|
|LANGUAGE||In Spanish, deletes the post-vocalic “r” (vamos pa’ ya).||In English, deletes the post-vocalic “r” (ova da rainbow).|
|FAVORITE MEAL||Café Con Leche and Pastelitos||Café Au Lait and Beignets|
|BEADS||Owns them in all sizes, shapes and colors.||Gives them away in all sizes, shapes and colors.|
|ON FACEBOOK||TYPES IN ALL CAPS.||TYPES IN ALL CAPS.|
|WHEN FRUSTRATED||Prays to Saints.||Prays for the Saints.|
|BOURBON||Gets rowdy.||A rowdy street.|
|ECONOMY||Has a lot of money, but you wouldn’t know it by looking at her.||Has a lot of money, but you wouldn’t know it by looking at her.|
|ONLY KNOWN ENGLISH PHRASE||Who Dat?||Who Dat?|
|TRUMPET||Husband’s instrument.||Louis Armstrong’s instrument.|
|HURRICANES||Make her nervous.||Make her nervous.|
8 thoughts on “Mama, I’m coming home”
Does your momma know you have introduced her to the www? And shared all her secrets? Too funny. Love it 🙂
My mom, like New Orleans, can’t read.
Mari, you are the best. I share the same worries as Suzanne: does your mother know? Or, probably she will enjoy it, being a mujel moderna.
She has no idea. And, I prefer it that way. 🙂
LOVE YOU (ERES UNICA)
Hallelujah! I needed this-you’re my savior.